The Soundtrack of My Life

My Past...

Born To Try by Delta Goodrem

Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love

All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

No point in talking of what should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds, look at the bigger picture

And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try

I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try


 “Born To Try (Radio Edit)” by Delta Goodrem

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This song reflects my past (specifically the 3rd Stage: Initiative and Guilt) in the sense that I as a teenager, I ought to explore new things,that I was "born to try". Again, I want to tell my UP experience as an example. I did not pass the UPCAT exam. But then I told myself, "All my childhood days, I dreamed of studying in UP. Why should I give up now?". I was left with two choices: study in a school near our house in Mandaluyong which is, well, not that popular and where the quality of education is less than outstanding , or study in UP but undergo a course that is not really my preference (through a reconsideration process)? If I chose the former, I'll be giving up one of my childhood dreams, but then I'll be keeping my family close to me. If I chose the latter, the dream will be fulfilled in some way, but then I'll be away from my family. As the song goes: But you've got to make choices/Be wrong or right/Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like/But I was born to try. Obviously, I chose to study here. I may not like being away from my family, but that's my sacrifice. Anyways, I'm doing this for them. I removed the clouds away and looked at the bigger picture.

My Present...

One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

You believe, and you doubt
You're confused, and got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer (you can't wait)
But there's no end in time (when you need to find the strength)
It's your faith that makes you stronger (the only way we get there)
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

“One Step At A Time” by Jordin Sparks

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Just recently, we had an activity called the human bingo in our class. I ended up signing the space for "single since zygote". And then you asked me what's the feeling of being "single since zygote". I answered "masaya naman". That quite represents what I'm presently experiencing. There are some things that I'm not in a hurry to do. I'm not really in a hurry to fall in love and be loved. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen. You may say that I'm not honest with myself because of this statement, but that's how I'm feeling right now.
Another case is for me to graduate. I'm quite impatient to go finish my studies and graduate and go to work. Actually, I have a choice to graduate this summer, but then after some thinking, I chose not to. I'm taking it one step at a time. I can graduate early, but then I have to burden myself with a lot of majors that is really quite difficult. Instead of graduating early, I might end up getting delayed for another semester for failing my majors. I don't want that to happen. There's no need to rush. My college life will soon end, and I want to experience it to the fullest. It's MY faith (that I would graduate with flying colors) that makes ME stronger. The only way (for me) to get there is one step at a time.

My future...

Innocent by David Cook

Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain and a guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul

I remember feeling low
And I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

Oh, and Gina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose; every calorie's a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful

I remember feeling low
And I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go, no
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own, yeah
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

One day
(We are, we are all innocent)
You'll have to let it go
(We are all innocent)
You'll have to let it go, no
(We are, we are)
One day
(We are, we are all innocent)
You'll stand up on your own
(We are all innocent)
You'll stand up on your own, yeah
(We are, we are)

We are, we are all innocent


 “Innocent” by David Cook

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In the future, I am hoping to become a better person who is not insecure about her appearance. I want to be confident with who I am as a person, and not compare myself to others, even if it all seems so contagious not to be MYself and faceless.
I do have fantasies of becoming famous someday, but then I want to be famous for what I can do best.
I also hope for me to be able to stand up on my own, to be independent and free of obligations. And then, if possible, I hope to have someone with whom I can share my life with intimately. Life will be much sweeter.

Essay Checklist:

1.c
2.p
3.c
4.p
5.c

Decision-Making and Biases

When we were assigned to think of one instance that I was affected by any biases in making judgments and decisions, I immediately thought of something that I may have an overconfidence bias. That instance was choosing a course in college. To tell you the truth, I was not really an UPCAT passer. I just got reconsidered in a course in U.P. Manila which was quite unpopular to some students. There was only a few of us who took the program, and most of us (I presume) were already thinking of shifting out after the academic year. In fairness, the program was interesting and every subject I had taken was fun and easy. I had really close friends and some not-so-close friends. Everything was just fine but still, I had this sinking feeling that the course was not meant for me, that I was meant for something BIGGER. So just like that, I transferred here to UP Diliman.

Here in this university, I was placed under the B.A. Sociology program. I applied for B.S. Psychology and BAA first but I wasn’t accepted. My aunt explained that shifting to the course I really am rooting for would be easier if I’m already a student here, so I obliged. My first year here was quite a shock – terror teachers, load of readings, papers, different classrooms, and different classmates (Back in UPM, we were only one block that I had the same classmates in every subject). Still, I managed to survive. At the end of the academic year, I applied for BAA again and B.S. Economics. My aunt used to tell me that Econ graduates usually land on good jobs that earn high salaries, which is honestly my main goal in studying. I have a family to support, and I want to give my father a break from being the breadwinner of the family. Eventually, and expectedly, I wasn’t accepted in the BAA program for the third time but instead, got a slot in B.S. Economics.

At first, I was contented. There was this thought that I’m just a step away from my goal but it seems like spikes are preventing me from getting there. I wasn’t doing well with my majors. I had a hard time understanding most of the concepts taught. My electives and GEs were way better, which shouldn’t be the case. To make it short, I was not happy with this course. But then, I’m already out of choices. My family expects me to graduate next year and shifting out again would just delay that. Moreover, it would be an additional burden to my aunt since she’s the one who is supporting my college schooling. I don’t want them to be more disappointed.

If I could just turn back in time, I’ll stick to my first course. I got so overconfident that I could finish my current course smoothly. I miscalculated my abilities. It wouldn’t have ended this way if I got contented to the course I am comfortable in. Well, I’ll just try my best and make-up for my decision.

Essay Checklist:
1. c
2.c
3.c
4.c
5.c

Learning A Skill: The Psychology of it All

One skill that I have been wanting to achieve since I was in high school was to learn how to play the piano. I have always been fascinated with the way beautiful music is being put together by just strucking a few chords, how fast, and how graceful. My father and my grandaunt were good at it that they were able to struck the right notes just by listening to the song or relying to their “echoic memory”. Two of my former blockmates also know how to play the piano expertly, and they were usually praised and applauded after finishing a piece. Somehow, I want to be like them, too.

Specifically, I want to learn how the hands are positioned and the basic chords in playing it. If I were to use a book manual, looking to the note and hand-position would be my stimulus, and strucking the piano with that note would be my response. The same would apply if I were to follow a piano teacher (or in my case, my father or my grandaunt).

I think this skill falls under observational learning since I'll be trying to imitate that image shown by the manual (that would be the first process which is attention).

To retain what I'm trying to imitate, the designated letters for this chords should be remembered like that note and hand-position denotes C, D, E, and so on.

In case of motor reproduction, I think I'm capable enough to imitate those chords. I have a complete set of fingers that I could voluntarily control (hehe). I am not color blind (to distinguish black from white), and I am not tone deaf (Beethoven may beg to differ.).

One last requirement would be my motivation to learn that skill. Well ,as we all know, it is human nature to impress other people (ehem), and by learning how to play the piano, I might get that hard-earned praise. I also find it self-satisfying. Just thinking of producing a sweet melody or playing that favorite tune makes me feel happy.

And speaking of praise, I might continue to practice and play that certain tune when I'm starting to hear phrases like “Your starting to sound good.”, or if I hear any of my housemates singing along. Here, I can apply operant conditioning, and those I've said before would be my reinforcers.

Checklist:

1. p

2. c

3. c

4. c

5. c

Do I Get Enough Sleep? (essay checklist)

1. c
2. c
3. c
4. c
5. c

Do I Get Enough Sleep?

After answering the quiz, I got 6 out of 14 questions as yes over no. With this quiz, James Maas (the creator of this quiz) was actually telling me that I was sleep-deprived. Should I believe it and take extra precautions before it gets worse? or just ignore it like any busy body would do? Well, let's see.

Actually, while we were studying in class about dreams and the stages of sleep, I'm already sensing that I'm not really getting that right amount of sleep, so I'm not a bit surprised when the test indicated that I was sleep-deprived. Before, I am used to remembering most of my dreams, even small parts of it. But during this past few weeks, I always wake up without even remembering one. I was thinking maybe it's because I'm not able to reach that REM stage of my sleep. :p And then there was this quiz. I would just like to point out some of the questions that I answered yes to show some possible effects of my having lack of sleep.

*I have trouble concentrating.
I can't focus on just one thing at a time. I easily get distracted that I can't finish a task on a fast pace.

*I have trouble remembering.
My lessons in Latin rely heavily on memorization and it sucks because I can't keep up with my classmates. I even tend to give wrong answers when the professor is asking me for translations. And there was also this dream journal that you required us to answer. Because of my amnesiatic state, I forgot to pass it last Friday. What's worst was I even forgot to pass it yesterday. (I passed it today along with the checked papers of my classmates after the exercise you gave us. Forgive me for not telling. It's okay if you would not score it. After all, I made the mistake.:p)

*I feel slow with critical thinking, problem-solving, and being creative.
I'm still in the application process for an organization. It has been three weeks since they've given us the sigsheets and until now, I don't know how to make it look presentable to the members.

*I often sleep extra hours on weekend mornings.
On school days, I usually wake up at about 7 'o clock in the morning. Last Saturday, I woke up at about 11:50am.

*I have dark circles around my eyes.

See for yourself. :p --->

Is sleep something that I look forward to? Yes, definitely, especially if it's sleeping on cold weekends. It helps me to recharge that energy I wasted for a day's work and relaxes me after all that stressful tasks. Once I tried to pull an all-nighter but I ended up sleeping after an hour. I can't do what those other students can do, like not sleeping for a day to review for an exam or finish a paper due tomorrow. If I sleep later than 2 hours the usual, I tend to make big mistakes, so I'm trying to avoid that.

Some strategies on getting enough sleep as indicated with the quiz was proven to be helpful, like that one about engaging in a relaxation technique before going to bed. I am used to listening to my media player before sleeping, which includes songs that I consider soothing to the ears. I drink hot chocolate with milk to induce my serotonins for that much needed sleep (hehe). And probably the best strategy that I am into was turning the lights off. I started doing this since I was a freshman, and now, I can't sleep with the lights on.

Let me end this by saying that sleeping should really be valued as a human function. Just have it at the right amount, no more no less, or we'll end up making big mistakes and damaging our health.

Psychological Research: Insights

There were lots of psychological research available in the library or even on-line. Choosing one is easy, but understanding its sense and reliability is another matter. Some studies tend to be incomplete, others just a result of playful minds. It gets more interesting if the topic of the research is concerned with uncommon subjects like sex, love, etc.

In our group, the problems tackled ranged from simple to complex. Mine was about people's risk of having an alcohol-use disorder (AUD) based on the density of their family history of alcoholism (FHA). I chose it because I can relate to it -not that I'm a drunkard when in fact, I only had a glass of gin during my whole years of existence- but through the sense that most of my relatives are heavy drinkers. The study included 293 females and 115 male undergraduates from a northeastern U.S. University who completed an anonymous survey. The researchers hypothesized that the greater the number of affected relatives, the greater the potential risk of developing an AUD. Of course, there are other potential risk factors besides FHA like behavioral under-control, age of onset of drinking (AOD), and cigarette. They concluded that college students who are heavy drinkers and have greater density of familial alcoholism are certainly at higher risk of continuing to drink in a problematic fashion after the college years.

One of my group mates chose a study about why people get disgusted with certain things. She chose the topic because it seems interesting and well, she got curious with the undertakings. The researchers' interest with the topic began during a talk in a university, where a professor dipped a sterilized cockroach in a glass of orange juice and asked for some volunteers to sip the juice. And expectedly, nobody dared to. So they hypothesized that when something that is perceived as disgusting is placed close to or touches something else (that is originally not perceived as disgusting), the latter might as well be infected and becomes less desirable or as disgusting as the former. They measured two variables which were product preference (disgusting/non-disgusting products) and the consumer's reaction, and it was done through lab observation. In the end, they concluded that the “non-disgusting” product's appeal tends to fall when it is placed beside or near products that are perceived as disgusting or serves a disgusting purpose (e.g. diapers, tampons, trash bags).

My other group mate chose a study about avoiding bad bargains. The researchers wanted to know what are the psychological processes that are involved when people decide to negotiate and in what way do communication and threats affect how people bargain with one another. The experiment was a little bit complicated. They used a game which forces 2 people to bargain with each other with a series of different conditions, wherein all the conditions are only slight variations. After the long experiment, the researchers were able to conclude that in bargaining, cooperative relationships have more positive results than competitive relationships. Communication allows people to bargain more effectively, because they are more likely to cooperate than those who do not communicate. Threats merely endanger relationships and do not contribute to a good negotiation.

The 3 studies used 3 different methods: the first one is correlational, the next one is descriptive, and the last was heavily experimental. For each of them, I found the operationalization appropriate like for the last study where they measured the effectivity of communication and threats through the profit of the players (the game was about trucking companies). The higher the profit, the better way for bargaining. The methods used were also appropriate like my chosen study for example. The researchers used survey because one's FHA is not observable. The participants have to state the information themselves. Lab observation definitely suits the second study because the researchers want to see the immediate reaction of the participants. I think the researchers have enough basis for their conclusions. Their methods were reliable in my point of view. Not only that, they also considered other factors that might affect the results of their study. They did not easily generalize. For the possible errors and biases, our group unanimously thought of the consequences of their sample spaces. Like in my chosen study, I noticed that the number of female respondents were greater than the males. That might have an effect on their conclusions.

If I were to choose the study I would participate in, the best one for me would probably be about the bargaining situation. I think it's very useful especially in real-life. Some of the insights that I liked about the study were these:

* Forcing parties to communicate, even if they already have the means to communicate, encourages mutually beneficial outcomes.

* In competitive relationships, communication should be aimed at increasing cooperation. Other methods will probably create more heat than light.

* Threats are dangerous, not only to other's interests, but also to our own.

References for the articles:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1625167,00.html

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/10/how-to-avoid-bad-bargain-dont-threaten.php

http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/healthday/2008/06/04/family-history-of-alcoholism-puts-student.html



Essay Checklist:
1. c
2. c
3. c
4. c
5. c